June 16, 2024
Girl Scout Cookies

BELGRADE, MONTANA — In a stunning display of parental over-involvement, a local mother has taken over her daughter’s Girl Scout Cookie sales, citing concerns about the 7-year-old’s ability to handle the workload and associated money management.

Lori Biscotti, the self-proclaimed “Cookie Boss,” has been busy posting on Facebook and hawking boxes of Thin Mints, Samoas, and Tagalongs to anyone who will listen. But her actions have some wondering whether she’s really helping her daughter or just trying to get her own fix of sugary snacks.

“I’m just doing what any good parent would do,” Lori explained in a recent interview. “I don’t want my daughter to get too stressed out trying to sell cookies on her own. Plus, who doesn’t love Girl Scout Cookies?”

Despite her assurances that she’s just helping out her daughter, some in the community are skeptical.

“She’s taking all the fun out of it,” complained one neighbor. “Part of the point of selling Girl Scout Cookies is to teach girls important life skills. If Lori’s doing everything, what’s her daughter going to learn?”

Others have pointed out that Girl Scout Cookie sales are meant to be a collaborative effort between parents, troop leaders, and the girls themselves.

“It’s not about making a profit or getting the most badges,” explained one troop leader. “It’s about empowering girls and teaching them to take on new challenges. Lori’s just getting in the way.”

But Lori isn’t backing down. She’s already planning a “Cookie Palooza” fundraising event and has promised to “crush” the competition with her “superior cookie-selling skills.”

As for her daughter? She’s reportedly happy to let her mom do all the work and is enjoying her time playing with her friends.

“I’m just glad my mom’s taking care of everything,” the young Girl Scout said. “I’ve got more important things to worry about. Roblox doesn’t play itself, you know!”

At this time, Lori Biscotti has not responded to requests for further comment on the matter. But one thing’s for sure: with her “Cookie Boss” attitude and relentless sales tactics, the residents of Gallatin Valley better get ready for an onslaught of Girl Scout Cookies.