June 16, 2024

BOZEMAN, MONTANA — In what should come as a shock to absolutely no one, the Bridger Mountain Range has once again won the award for Best Local Range. This marks the 285 millionth year in a row that the range has taken home the title.

Despite the complete lack of competition, local residents continue to celebrate the range’s victory. “It’s just such an honor to live in the shadow of such a prestigious mountain range,” said longtime Bozeman resident Katie Miller. “I mean, what other range can say they’ve won an award for 285 million years straight? None, that’s what.”

The judges for the award were not immediately available for comment, but it’s safe to assume that they simply didn’t bother looking at any other mountain ranges in the area. “Why bother?” said one anonymous judge. “We all know the Bridgers are going to win, so why waste our time?”

Despite the range’s dominance in the local awards scene, some are starting to wonder if it’s time for a change. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, the Bridgers are great and all,” said local hiker and nature enthusiast Mark Walker. “But it would be nice to see some other ranges get some recognition too. I mean, there are other mountains out there, you know?”

For now, however, it seems that the Bridger Mountain Range will continue to reign supreme in the world of local mountain range awards. “We’re just grateful to have such an amazing range in our backyard,” said Miller. “And who knows, maybe next year they’ll win the award for Best Mountain Range in the Universe.”