CUT BANK, Montana — In a stunning upset, Cut Bank, Montana has been named the best place to live in Montana for 2023, dethroning long-standing champion Bozeman.
“We are thrilled to receive this honor,” said Mayor Jon Cutter, adding “We always knew Cut Bank was the best-kept secret in Montana.”
The announcement has caused quite a stir in the Gallatin Valley, where residents are reportedly feeling a mix of shock, confusion, and a healthy dose of rivalry towards their newly-crowned neighbors to the north.
Tourists are also flocking to Cut Bank to experience the “thrilling” combination of wind and emptiness, which has been touted as a unique selling point by local officials.
“Where else can you experience the full force of the Montana wind without any distractions?” said tourism board member Tabitha Styles.
The local Cut Bank newspaper, The Cut Bank Times, celebrated the news with a banner headline that read “Nothing Happened Today, Again.” Despite the lack of activity, residents insist that life in Cut Bank is anything but boring.
“We may not have the same amenities as some of the bigger cities, but we have a tight-knit community that’s always there for each other,” said lifelong resident Buck Walters.
As for what Cut Bank has that Bozeman doesn’t, many are pointing to the town’s unique charm. “We may not have the flashy restaurants or the trendy shops, but we have something that’s hard to put into words,” said Mayor Cutter. “It’s a certain grit, a certain ruggedness, that you just can’t find anywhere else.”
As for Bozeman, they have yet to issue a formal statement on the matter, but sources say they are secretly relieved to be off the hook for having to deal with all the new transplants.
The editor has always had a passion for the written word, ever since penning a Pulitzer-worthy essay at the tender age of five. Spending formative years traveling the world, writing about everything from Machu Picchu to the mall food court, The Editor eventually apparated in Bozeman, realizing a true calling as the editor-in-chief of Bozeman Grit.