MONTANA, USA – In a groundbreaking discovery, a team of glaciologists and geologists have determined that the Bridger, Spanish Peaks, and Gallatin mountain ranges in southwestern Montana are not actually mountains, but rather massive snow piles. The team made the discovery after analyzing the subterranean deep sample composition and structure of the ranges, as well as the climate patterns in the region.
According to the team’s findings, the snow piles began forming thousands of years ago during periods of heavy snowfall and were compacted over time into what appeared to be mountain ranges. However, recent warming trends have caused the snow to melt, revealing the true nature of the formations.
“This is a truly remarkable discovery,” said lead researcher Dr. Malcolm Coleman. “For years, we believed these to be some of the most majestic and rugged mountain ranges in the country, but in reality, they were just snow piles. It just goes to show that nature can be full of surprises.”
The news has caused a seismic shift throughout the Bozeman community, which has long prided itself on its proximity to the “mountains.” Many residents have expressed disbelief and disappointment, while others have taken a more lighthearted approach, jokingly referring to the “ranges” as “Mount Slushmore” and “Mount Frostuvius.”
Local ski resorts are also grappling with the news, as many of their runs are situated on what are now known to be giant snow piles. “We’re not quite sure how this will impact our operations,” said a representative from Bridger Bowl Ski Area. “But we’re committed to providing a quality skiing experience, whether it’s on a mountain or a snow pile.”
As for the future of the Bridger, Spanish Peaks, and Gallatin “ranges,” the team of researchers say they will continue to monitor the snow piles and study their unique properties. “Who knows what other secrets these ‘mountains’ may hold,” said Dr. Coleman. “Only time will tell.”
The editor has always had a passion for the written word, ever since penning a Pulitzer-worthy essay at the tender age of five. Spending formative years traveling the world, writing about everything from Machu Picchu to the mall food court, The Editor eventually apparated in Bozeman, realizing a true calling as the editor-in-chief of Bozeman Grit.